Quote of the Year

“Is Janet Jackson back to being heavy again?”

- My Mom

Update From Styrbjoern

As many of you have probably noticed, 1/3rd of NTF was notably absent from our New Years day reunion tour.

Having agreed on getting the blog back together on January 1st, Baaaaarns and I went through a pretty wide range of emotions last night when the clock struck twelve and we realized that Strbjoern the Strong had lets us down again and— like so many times before— failed to hold up his part of the blog.

So you can imagine my outrage when I awoke at 3:30am last night only to find this message on my (i)phone.

Favorite Tattoo, vol. 1

You’re 18 and have your whole life ahead of you. Why not get Jason’s mask and the Misfits skull tattooed on you chest and stomach?


p.s. Thanks to Max here, I have ‘tattoo of the week’ covered through 2010.

Why I Still Use Friendster...

Facebook has become the target of an 80,000-plus protest by irate mothers after banning breastfeeding photographs from online profiles.

Facebook’s policy, which bans any breastfeeding images uploaded that show nipples, has led an online profile by protestors – called “lactivists” in some circles – called “Hey Facebook, breast feeding is not obscene”.

The online petition, which accuses Facebook of instituting the policy to “appease the closed-minded”, has attracted almost 82,000 supporters.

The actions of the group came to a head over the weekend when the protesters organised a virtual “nurse-in” on the social networking website where for a day angry supporters posted a profile picture of an image of a mother breastfeeding and changed their Facebook status to say “Hey Facebook, breastfeeding is not obscene!”.

I guess there’s always Adult Friend Finder

via AmericaBlog

Penis of the Week, Vol. 1

We decided to bring in the New Year with a new weekly feature, celebrating the male form in all its beauty.

For our first installment of penis of the week, we meet the Sun Bear. Located in the tropical rainforests of Southeast Asia, this bite-sized-bear is known for it’s giant paws and magnificently tiny penis.

We Have a lot of Catching up to do...

Things I would have blogged about in the last two months (had I not been fat and lazy):

1. My reacquaintance with Magnum XL sized Pixie Sticks.
2. My awaking on December 25th only to find my penis grew two inches. Thanks Jesus!
3. My inablilty to cancel my suicidegirls.com membership.
4. My inability to not go to the Lusty Lady on Sunday mornings by myself.
5. The Wire. Oh my god I want to have McNulty’s babies.
6. My realization that I might be the only person on the planet who simultaneously gets sexier and fatter at the same time.
7. The fact that Phil has been sleeping on my couch for a month because his power got shut off when he went upwards of nine months without paying his electricity bill.
8. Netflix streams movies on Macs now!
9. Phil wears camo.
10. Did I mention my penis grew two inches?

I promise to never let such useless information be withheld from you ever again.

Holiday Highlights

OK… I may be the hardest person to shop for ever. I usually can’t think of anything I need, nor can I think of anything to ask for. It’s not something I’m particularly proud of, but it’s also not my fault. I mean, what do you get a person who already has everything ?

With that said, my friends and family usually nail the gift giving and I wind up with some pretty sweet stuff come Jesus’s birthday. 2008 was no exception, which is obvious every morning when I drink my coffee out of this…


and every other day when I put on this…


2009 - The Year of the Ox? We'll See

I can’t speak for the other two but I plan on giving a full 40% to ensure 2009 is the year of Not Today, Fatty.

High Five

Here’s to a fresh start (up top!)

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